It’s my birthday! Yes I am a Christmas Eve baby, no I do not get twice the presents, I don’t get any actually! Just joking, no I’m not. I heard for years about how 18 is the year of finding yourself blah blah blah. Welp, I must say, no matter how hard I tried not to let that be true… it happened. After such a horrible year, I have decided to use what I’ve been through to hopefully inspire someone to do the same! turn your wounds into wisdom.
18 things I learned, lost and loved at 18.
- i learned that sometimes getting closure or trying to force yourself to forgive an ingrate who screwed you over deliberately doesn’t always help to heal those deep disgusting wounds. the best thing to do is be angry, let it all out and instant block and delete. some people will never appreciate you but it’s not your loss, never forget that.
- this is a double… but i learned to love a beautiful person who gets on my nerves, everyone last one of them but makes me feel so alive in the same breath and has encouraged me to be the beautiful dove i can be ( because i’m always fly.. y’all knew that one was coming.) (That’s me by the way.)
- i have learned to appreciate and respect peoples’ choices, their opinions slowly but surely. i have realized that a majority of people are selfish and that’s okay.
- i lost fear for the unknown, i’ve learned to embraced it a lot more. how can you have any fun if you’re always paranoid about what can happen? paranoia has ruined so many opportunities and adventures for me so i am slowly learning how to live life a little more risky, while still being cautious, but not paranoid.
- i learned and have been learning that the difficulties are not always there to teach you lessons, they’re there because sometimes bad stuff are just meant to happen to you. you can do things as perfect as ever and sometimes it just doesn’t work out, accept it and move on.
- i found a love for Pinterest, i thought i had loved it alot before, but dang, i live on it now, gotta love those bullet journal ideas! by the way, look out for thattttt in 2017. super excited.
- i love solitude. enough said. reflection, reevaluation is extremely necessary for my health, though too much of one thing isn’t.. you know the saying.
- i absolutely LOVED (and still do) some of my classes this semester! they were so interesting, i took a theology class which made me realize i love to debate :).
- i ABSOLUTELY LOVEEEE the Curls Creme Brule product I purchased over the summer. i spoke about it in my post about my hair (which i will try to update as i switch my actual hair up)! that product has my hair extremely on fleek, moisturized, on fleek, did i already say on fleek? on. fleek.
- over this past year i lost some of my shyness. i have definitely stepped waaaay out of my comfort zone, my friends can attest to that.
- sad to say, i lost some love for myself. i started to notice particular traits that began to develop within me, and i hated it. not that i started to become the monsters i try my best to stay away from, but i started to behave in ways contrary to what i believe in. luckily as time passed, i was able to find my true self and love me again! (try it haha.)
- i learned one of the greatest lessons this past year. when people show you who they are, believe them. do not, i repeat, do not compromise yourself because you think you “love” someone, there is necessary CHANGE however, which is totally different. do not, i repeat, do not change yourself just because someone wants you to because of their selfish reasons. do you honeeeey. birds don’t belong in cages. (thank you Diggy!)
- i learned the importance of having a sound mind, proper preparation and having the ability to adapt. this semester and year were ridiculously hard and honestly i would not have made it to this moment if i didn’t know what i was about and who were about it with me. have a solid support system, create one if you’re lacking right now, it’s important. if you are your own support system, take extra care of you.
- i realized that i have a love for old music, y’all knew this before but i have to say it again. over the past few weeks i rediscovered The Documentary and Get Rich or Die Tryin’. honestly, thank you Spotify. have you ever heard the instrumentals? honestly, truly, i am shoook.
- i learned the importance of censoring who you let into your personal space, your head space and your life in general. some people will drain your energy, drain and use you and don’t ever want to help you to replenish that. instant block and delete them. please. when they drain your energy what do you have for yourself?
- i lost courage, as i thought the world was caving in on me for weeks on end. i’m sorry is all i can say to people who’ve felt this way. it is only understandable when you’ve been through it.
- i learned that sometimes delays are blessings in disguise. don’t rush perfection. just like girls who wear make up will say you can’t rush the baking process (is that what it’s called? i do not have a clue), don’t rush your greatness lovelies.
- saving the best for last, i absolutely loveeeee Protoje’s Album “Royalty Free | Side B“. my favorite track is “Flight Plans” (this was hard to choose). i am extremely touched by the song. the production of the song is impeccable, did i mention the integration of the sample? wow. the producers, Diggy British and The Drum Keys. i’ve listened to this song everytime i got on a flight since it came out, so quite a bit. you know you love a song when it has 535 plays on iTunes. wow thank you Diggy. absolutely amazing. check it out!
photo courtesy of LYNCH :).
what did you learn at 18? what did you wish you learned at 18? hit me up if you ever want to share things with me!
*** this post was completed on 12/25/16.